Today 7/30/17, I opted for change

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Today I decided to make a change! A change for my health; to get rid of these horrible lower back pains, improve my crippling bad moods due to PMDD, increase my energy level which is non-existent and to lose this weight that’s been like a monkey on my back for a few years now.

I had a horrible day yesterday (mood wise). I laid on the couch all day watching TV and feeling miserable, with no energy or desire to do anything. While that sounds like a glorious day to many of you; kids not around, a quiet home all to yourself, it is way too common in my home, to the point that it has almost become the norm.

Yesterday was a very nice day out. I had just received my new bedroom furniture from Macy’s on Friday and to my surprise, this time the delivery went smooth (post on that to come).

I had been wanting this furniture for over a year and I finally got it. I was in such a bad state that I didn’t even bother to go upstairs to my bedroom and organize the gigantic mess I have in there into my new gorgeous drawers. Nor did I bother to dress my bed with the new sheets I purchased. I simply didn’t care to do so. I had to work from home for my regular day job. I didn’t do that either; will pay the price on Monday.


This morning I woke up in a worst mood, but even so, I decided to do something rather than sit on my couch all day again. I decided I wasn’t going to let another day pass me by where I sit here feeling sorry for myself (not voluntarily but due to PMDD) and accomplish nothing all day. I tried to talk myself out of it a few times but I refused to let that side of me take over.

I would typically order breakfast, which would be comprised of French Toast with a side of well-done bacon (4 strips) and a side order of sweet potato fries. Oh, and let’s not forget the can of Coke. Yes; for breakfast and yes, I’m salivating as I write this.

Today , I decided to make my own breakfast, 3 scrambled eggs; plain because my refrigerator is empty and I have no bread of any kind, healthy or not. I ate my breakfast and drank seltzer water instead of Coca-Cola.

I proceeded to put on my workout clothes; shocked that they still fit. I put on my socks and sneakers, tied up the hair and took some very embarrassing “before pictures.” I weighed myself and that nasty scale told me I weigh 170 lbs., now I have to give you some background for perspective on my weight.

A Little Background for Perspective

I had been thin all my life. The kind of thin everyone hates because I could pretty much eat anything and not gain weight. When I got pregnant with my first child, my son, I was 32 and weighed 115 lbs., with no exercise. I used to work out religiously for some time but that was years prior and I had since stopped.

When I was due to give birth I weighed 154 lbs. I ate everything in front of me without hesitation. I was able to lose the weight after giving birth and weighed about 127 lbs.

I got pregnant with my daughter a year later. At the time of delivery, I weighed 164 lbs. I was able to lose that weight too and got myself down to a respectable 124 lbs. I’m 5’5″ so that weight was average for my height.

With the onset of PMDD, (I was diagnosed 5 years ago), I started taking medication which has made me balloon to this weight. Now at 45 years of age, I weigh 6 lbs more than I did when I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter. Not such a fun fact. Now back to my walk.

Painful, but Worth it.

I stepped outside of the building and was greeted by the most intensely beautiful fresh breeze, that came accompanied by a warm sun the likes of which I wished we had all year round. I decided to go for a slow walk, as fast walks are painful for my back.

I walked outside of the building and out into the grounds of my building’s complex. When I ran out of trail, I walked outside of the complex and into the street.

By now my back was screaming for me to stop. I was almost limping, but decided to keep on. I walked into what I can only consider to be the more “posh” side of my town, and as I walked, I admired the beautiful mansions in the dead end streets that line the cliff overlooking the Hudson River.

The pain had now reached an excruciating level, and everything in me wanted to stop. The pain in my lower back had traveled down my left leg and it felt like I had a vice compressing it. I had no place to sit to rest for a little while, so I decided to walk back to my building.


As I walked back into the complex I looked at the app on my phone that was tracking my progress and saw that I had been walking for 29 minutes. The shock was real folks! I thought I had only been walking for maybe 15 minutes at most.

The surprise was a great one because although it was only 29 minutes, I had set out to only walk for 15 since it was my first day. Hurray for me!

This was the first day of a routine that I not just want to maintain, but one which I feel I HAVE to maintain! There is no way that I will feel better emotionally or lose any of this weight if I don’t exercise, because I have a 3 things working against me; my age (slow metabolism); the medication I take (makes you gain weight), I hate vegetables (I’m not a “healthy eater”).


I plan to walk at least 5 times a week (morning or evening, doesn’t matter) at a slow pace until my back pain improves and then I can pick up the pace. Will I eventually start jogging? Only time and my body will tell.

For now, I have to take baby steps so I can stick to the routine. I have to stop drinking soda which is honestly my only vice. I bought Kefir (liquid yogurt and also a probiotic) and I bought protein shake powder so I can replace one meal a day with a protein shake. I will most likely replace dinner which is when I usually end up ordering out.

I think that if I start out slow I can maintain the routine easier than if I jump into an unrealistic set of goals. Right now my main goals are to feel better emotionally, physically and have more energy.

I feel this will lead to bigger goals like tackling the weight. Plus, I also wrote this post to hold me accountable with you if I don’t keep this up.

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